Early this morning my husband and I descended down the dark, dank stairwell to the Dinosaur Shelter.
I built the walls mostly out of Wheaties Brand Breakfast cereal.
Not many know this, but one of the most effective ways to repel a dinosaur is with Wheaties.
Some of our most treasured friends and relatives accompanied us down into the shelter. There’s a lot of room and I’m looking forward to admitting all of you who bought Love in the Time of Dinosaurs today as soon as we fix this one minor problem…
You see, something we hadn’t counted on happened around noon.
Uncle George ate through the South-Eastern wall.
A small raptor infiltrated the shelter and we’ve had to evacuate while the breach was repaired and the raptor exterminated.
Uncle George, severely reprimanded, has been placed on main artillery. He’s manning the Tsar cannon, which arrived on Tuesday.
But it might have been a man in a dinosaur suit.
Remember, “National Dress Like a Dinosaur Day” is (inconveniently) happening in a few days time. And we don’t want more casualties than necessary.
In other news, Love in the Time of Dinosaurs is at it’s highest sales rank of all time ever on Amazon.